Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
