He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
