RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
