I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I currently don't understand fingers.
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