Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You don't make any sense
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