So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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