I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
