school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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