it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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