return my video game
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
