When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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