My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
