So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
