meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
