So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
