That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
