Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
