Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
