R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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