You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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