What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
