the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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