butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
