while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
