If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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