erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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