Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
