Umm I'm too high to move.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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