Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
