so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
