Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I deserve this hangover.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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