STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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