My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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