I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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