Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
