feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Did you just see the Batmobile???
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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