Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
