Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
