its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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