I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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