I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
