So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
