What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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