I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
