i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
false alarm. still invincible.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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