I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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