I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
