Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
