chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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