Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
